Updates from Centered Living

In the spirit of slowing my pace and valuing quality over quantity I’m changing the scheduled of “Wellness Wisdom” from a weekly to monthly format, so please watch for editions to arrive in your email in-box mid-month, usually on a Saturday. I may send a shorter email to you between full issues of the newsletter to share tips or program offerings (but no worries, I won’t send more than 2-3 emails each month).

Have you ever taken a retreat? Would you like to? I’m guiding my clients and small groups through “virtual retreats” and the results have been inspiring! To learn more, visit my coaching retreat page by clicking here.

If you’re like most folks, your New Year’s Resolutions are broken – but take heart. Resolutions  rarely work, but coaching does!  Email me to talk more about how I can support you in making long lasting, intentional change in 2008.

Feature Article

Heroism: The Courage to Create Your Best Year Ever!

By Dr. Lori Gray Boothroyd, Ph.D.

“…..though you have broken your vows a thousand times,
Come, yet again, Come.” ~ Rumi, mystic poet
 
Welcome to 2008! If you’re like millions of Americans, you’ve set your New Year’s Resolutions for making big change in your life. The new year brings a sense of fresh possibilities as we vow to change our ways. It’s been said that 60-80% of us break our vows within the first two weeks of January, a perceived defeat that is often followed by discouragement and a return to behaviors and attitudes we don’t feel good about. How can this year be different? We must vow to be heroes to ourselves.
 
What, you may ask, do I mean by “being a hero to ourselves”? It means flexing and strengthening our courage muscles, stepping forward to create a life that reflects our authenticity and thereby serving the world in a larger way. This takes our wellness to a whole new level! When we use our courage, all the choices we make follow from that place of heroism within each of us. By living this way, New Year’s Resolutions become unnecessary and obsolete.

As is so often true, we can look to children for lessons in heroism. Think back to when you were five or six. Many of us at that age wanted to be firefighters, police officers, or other types of rescue workers. We dreamt of saving the day, of being extraordinary heroes to those in need. And as children, we were kind and forgiving to ourselves as well as others. If we fell down, we just got right back up again and kept going, didn’t we? We didn’t beat ourselves up about it. We had dreams and kept on dreaming them with no fear. So…..when did we stop dreaming about who we could be? When did we lose touch with our courage, our “inner heroism”? What would you need to reconnect to that courageous hero inside of you?

The kill-joy of courage is usually fear. I’m not talking about necessary protective fear when we are facing real danger, but rather the fears we create in our mind when we initiate change or take healthy risks in order to grow. When we feel ourselves shrinking, fear is holding us back. No matter who we are on all our varied walks of life, fear is a familiar companion. Here is a life rule: Anytime you break, ignore or sabotage an attempt to create change in your life, fear is at the root of it. Understanding this is the first step to overcoming the fear. If we do not openly recognize and acknowledge the fear, we continue to falter and remain distant from our courage, wondering with frustration why we “just can’t change”.

“I’ve been absolutely terrified every moment of my life and I’ve never let it keep me from doing a single thing that I wanted to do. ” ~ Georgia O’Keeffe, artist

My New Year’s challenge to you is to begin facing your fear (the fear you create that holds you back from the life you really want). It is simple, yet powerful; what you choose to do with fear will direct the course of your life. Let’s try looking at fear in a new way (like heroes do): Fear is a call to action, a powerful and deep force within you that motivates you to grow, learn and change. Handling our fear frees us to show true heroism, beginning with ourselves.

Here are three simple things will help you face fear and move forward:

1. Support. Every great hero has a sidekick, right? Ask your sidekicks to encourage you, and offer the same for them.
 
2. Knowledge/Strategies. Information helps alleviate fear. Strategies give our courage muscles focus and added strength. For example, do you have a dream of speaking in front of groups, but an intense fear of the same? Joining a speaking group, such as Toastmasters, can support and teach you to be a great speaker and live that dream in spite of your fear. What would you love to do that also scares you? What do you need to learn to overcome that fear?

3. Spirit. Use your faith in yourself and in something larger than yourself (in whatever way feels meaningful to you) to shrink your fear, take a deep breath…….and challenge the fear.

From this moment on, vow to call upon your heroism to live fearlessly. Your courage will take you on a journey to your best year ever!
 

Personal Reflections

Obviously I’ve given this notion of “heroism” a great deal of thought recently. And though I don’t make New Year’s Resolutions, I do choose a theme or two to guide me through a year of living. My themes this year are “living at the pace of grace” and “meaningful service”. These themes will be upcoming newsletter topics and I’ll certainly share my experiences.

This past month was mostly about restoration and rest. I spent meaningful holiday time with my dearest family and friends. I had quiet time to reflect and renew my spirit. Mostly, I find myself filled with gratitude as I breathe into life’s challenges. The winter months of Northern Michigan provide a hushed, darkened space that lends itself to contemplation; a whispery hush falls through the woods at our home. Winter days often include snow-shoe excursions in the nearby hills, which is relaxing and surprisingly sweat inducing, followed by cozy evenings near the fireplace.

May your days be filled with the wonder and mystery of the season.

Lori

About Dr. Lori Boothroyd

Dr. Lori Boothroyd is known as the “Coaching Psychologist”. She has served her clients and students well over the years through integrating her knowledge from earning a Ph.D. in psychology, as well as her advanced training in coaching and wellness psychology. Appreciated for her warmth and down-to-earth style as much as her expertise, Lori is a dynamic speaker, author and coach. She lives in Traverse City, Michigan with her husband, Dr. Gregory Boothroyd. Together they authored the book “Going Home: A Positive Emotional Guide to Promote Life Generating Behaviors”.

For a complimentary coaching consult, to inquire about programs or to ask any questions, please email: lori@loriboothroyd.com