Welcome to the February edition of Wellness Wisdom!

In This Issue:

~ Updates from Centered Living

~ Feature Article: “Love and Compassion”

~ About Dr. Lori Boothroyd

~~Updates from Centered Living~~

~In the spirit of slowing my pace and valuing quality over quantity I’m changing the scheduled of “Wellness Wisdom” from a weekly to monthly format, so please watch for editions to arrive in your email in-box mid-month, usually on a Saturday. I may send a shorter email to you between full issues of the newsletter to share tips or program offerings (but no worries, I won’t send more than 2-3 emails each month).

~Have you ever taken a retreat? Would you like to? I’m guiding my clients and small groups through “virtual retreats” and the results have been inspiring! To learn more, visit my coaching retreat page by clicking here.

~If you’re like most folks, your New Year’s Resolutions are already broken – Take heart. Resolutions rarely work, but coaching does! Email me to talk more about how I can support you in making long lasting, intentional change in 2008.

~~Feature Article~~

Love and Compassion: Being your own Valentine

By Dr. Lori Gray Boothroyd, Ph.D.

A lifetime without
Love is of no account
Love is the Water of Life
Drink it down with heart and soul! ~ Rumi, mystic poet

February, and specifically the celebration of Valentine’s Day, turns our thoughts to love and romantic relationship. As joyous and beautiful romance and deep relationships are, I want to turn your attention today toward the most beloved of all relationships – the one you have with yourself. Authentic wellness is nothing if not an expression of the love we have for our lives, our spirits and bodies; a way of caring for our hearts. When we love and show compassion for ourselves, we are able to more deeply connect with others and relate to our world meaningfully.

How can we more intentionally bring this kind of love and compassion into our lives? This question prompts a return to a native teaching parable I’ve shared with you in the past. It is the story of “Two Wolves Within”. Here is a reminder of that parable:

A Native American Elder was once describing his inner turmoils with a dear friend. He struggled to find the words and after a period of quiet reflection, he shared this:

“Inside each of us are two wolves. There is a Good Wolf and there is a Bad Wolf. The Bad Wolf is mean, sad, negative and angry. The Good Wolf is open-hearted, kind and loving. The Bad Wolf fights the Good Wolf all day.”

He fell silent again, and after a time, his friend spoke. “Which Wolf wins?” he asked the Elder.

The old man reflected again for a moment and then replied,

“Whichever Wolf we feed the most”. ~ Native American Parable

Notice in your daily life the moments when you are aware of feeding your inner “Wolves”. Do you feed the Good Wolf – or the Bad Wolf? How do you feel as a result of your choices? The greater awareness we have of the little and large choices we make and the subsequent paths they take us down, the better our chances of making more loving (and Good Wolf nurturing) decisions.

As a result of simply increasing awareness, you will begin making more Good Wolf choices. When we make these kinds of choices, we feel energized, encouraged, balanced and centered and, as such, we are expressing love for ourselves. No matter what, we will sometimes still feed the Bad Wolf. We are human after all, and the purpose of Authentic Wellness is progress and not perfection. If we are aware and kind to ourselves, however, the Bad Wolf has minimal negative impact on our lives. In fact, sometimes the Bad Wolf even helps by teaching us powerful insights – like pointing the way to the next growth edge or learning curve. With that kind of instruction, we can gently redirect ourselves back to nurturing the Good Wolf and expressing love and compassion.

How often do you feed the Bad Wolf of self-criticism, impatience, judgment, even disgust? What would it feel like instead to treat yourself as you would your dearest friend, or as a mother comforts her child? Imagine how you would respond to feeling compassion, empathy and love for your Self. My hunch is that you would begin making more Good Wolf choices from this stance of compassionate self-acceptance – and more readily experience joy, energy, an abundance of well-being and yes – Love! These positive emotions lead to healthier, more supportive choices for how we care for our bodies, our hearts and our minds. Acceptance and love brings purposeful and meaningful change. Now THAT is authentic wellness!

Here are some tips for feeding compassionate self-love and building up your “Good Wolf Pack” in the process:

1. Reflect on a part of your life that feels conflicting or incongruent; a part of your life that is in conflict with how you want to live. It could be smoking cigarettes, binge-eating, laying on the couch in front of the TV, isolating yourself from loved ones, or whatever part of you that feels disconnected with your authenticity.

2. Any time this week when you feel compelled to practice that behavior or pattern of thinking, take a moment to pause and reflect.

3. As you pause and reflect, open yourself to what emotions you are feeling and how your body is feeling physically. Do you feel anxious? Lonely? Hungry? Sluggish? What else? Take note of these feelings.

4. Notice with compassion and acceptance whatever emotions, thoughts or physical sensations come to the surface as you simply reflect. What are you longing for? What do you need? How can you lovingly comfort and support yourself?

5. Gently ask yourself a few questions to guide your awareness and acceptance. You might try questions like: What is it I need right now? What do I care most about? What is really important to me right now? How can I show myself compassion and love right now? Whatever thoughts and feelings come to the surface, accept them without judgment.

6. Return to the conflict and choice at hand. You will be amazed by what happens if you practice these steps with consistency and kindness!

Self-acceptance does not mean that we deny responsibility for our choices; but the compassion frees us from self-criticism and the self-abuse that so often comes when we feel inner conflict. It is a simple truth: When we are beating ourselves up, we can’t be centered and make healthy choices. Centered living comes from making choices that arise from compassion and a loving relationship within.

We must all learn to hold our hearts within our own loving hands. That is the Good Wolf at its best!

Remember that healthy, loving people are very much like healthy wolves: Keen, loyal to oneself and one’s pack, playful, intuitive, brave, adaptive and vibrant!

So don’t forget to send yourself a Valentine this month, in whatever form shows genuine love and compassion for the Beloved within you.

~May your hearts be filled with Loving-Kindness~

Lori

~~About Dr. Lori Boothroyd~~

Dr. Lori Boothroyd is known as the “Coaching Psychologist”. She has served her clients and students well over the years through integrating her knowledge from earning a Ph.D. in psychology, as well as her advanced training in coaching and wellness psychology. Appreciated for her warmth and down-to-earth style as much as her expertise, Lori is a dynamic teacher, author and coach. She lives in Traverse City, Michigan with her husband, Dr. Gregory Boothroyd. Together they authored the book “Going Home: A Positive Emotional Guide to Promote Life Generating Behaviors”.

For a complimentary coaching consult, to inquire about programs or to ask any questions, please email: lori@loriboothroyd.com

For a complimentary coaching consult, to inquire about programs or to ask
any questions, please email:
lori@loriboothroyd.com

www.loriboothroyd.com

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